Live and Breath

Last Sunday, April 29th, would have been my friend Kristin’s 26th birthday.  I spent a lot of time this month thinking about her, and even more time on Sunday.  I had a good ugly cry, because it is just so heartbreaking when someone’s life is cut short… especially a good friend.

Kristin and I at her wedding ~ November 2004 

But then, I remembered the lessons I learned when my other great friend passed away right after we graduated from college.  It was in June 2008 and I will never forget the tearful message from her dad on my phone.  That day changed my life forever.  I struggled with extreme guilt and disbelief.  Why should I have the opportunity to be with my husband when she couldn’t anymore?  Why should I be able to enjoy a meal, take a vacation, or even breath?  Courtney will never get to do these things.  She will never get to have those babies we always talked about and enjoy her new house with her high-school sweetheart husband.

Courtney and I at our college graduation ~ May 2008

Those were some of the darkest days of my life as I searched out what God was trying to teach me.  When I heard Courtney’s family talk about how she was looking down on us wishing she could be here, it hit me…. no she’s not!  Courtney (and now Kristin) is in the very presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!  She isn’t wishing for the things of this world.  They aren’t even thinking of us like we are thinking of them… There is no time in Heaven.  My friends are in a perfect place where their souls are at rest in the very presence of Jesus.  Who am I to wish they were still here on this earth?  In all actuality, we are the ones that are here in this increasingly evil world.

I say all this just because I have spent this entire month extremely grateful and humbled for the wonderful life I get to live on this earth.  I also say all these things to remind myself that we are not home… We are just temporary travelers in a foreign land… dots on the timeline of eternity…

God thank you for life.  For blessings.  For giving us the desires of our hearts.  Lord, please help me to live with eternity in mind and set my feet firm on your path for my life.

I’m Telling This Story For a Few Reasons…

Last weekend our new Women’s Ministry at church had our kick off event… Mugs & Muffins.  It was so great, and God blessed all of our efforts and answered prayers!  Our guest speaker, Glenette Russell, challenged us all to get involved and open our eyes to where we need to serve in this new ministry.  When she had finished I gave a short testimony to kind of…. encourage all the ladies to not waste their lives.  I didn’t get to say all of the following, but this is what I had planned…

I am going to close with a story.  This is the story of great friendship… the kind that lasts a lifetime.  Let me start by saying I’m not telling you all this to make you sad or depressed or anything… I’m telling you all this story to show that God is sovereign.  He is in control.  He still works miracles, and most importantly to remind all of us to not waste any of the time we have left on this earth.

Nate and I got married right after he graduated from college, here at OBU.  I still had three years left (yes, Nate is three years older than me) so when we moved to Arkansas, I went to the U of A.  When you are married and in college for a degree, and not to party you quickly find others that are like you.  I had one great friend in college, Courtney.  Courtney and I met in my first class in business school.  After that semester we coordinated our schedules and took every possible class together.  She was full of life and always stretched me to get out of my perfectionist ways.  Like whenever I would doodle all through class, Courtney would bump my hand and make me mess up, or just draw a big line across the page… If you know me, you know that is a big deal.  As I look back at that time I treasure those memories because Courtney taught me not to take things so seriously.  She taught me how to slow down and see the big picture.  After we graduated from college in May 2008 we make plans to go to dinner so our husbands could finally meet.  Nate and I just had to go to one youth camp first.  It was Wednesday night of camp when Courtney’s dad called me with the news that she had died.  That was June 18, 2008.  So instead of going to dinner together, I went to her funeral.

Kristin and I got to know each other in middle school and by the time we were eighth graders we had a bond that couldn’t be broken.  Do you notice how your friends are a lot like you?  Well, Kristin and I were that way… We had the same morals, the same mind set, and the same dreams.  I don’t think about middle school or high school or my wedding without thinking of Kristin.  In middle school we would draw pictures of our futures with our husbands.  Then in high school we would go on all kinds of choir trips and she would make me tapes of her singing for my birthdays.  She lit up the room with her laughter.  She was a red head that could always make anyone smile.  On July 29, a few weeks ago, while Nate and I were in Wal-Mart of all places, Nate got a call.  It was someone close to her family giving me the news that she had died while on vacation with her family in Hawaii.

You are probably wondering… how did Courtney and Kristin die?  Well, on motorcycles…. but that isn’t important.  What is important is why I felt like I needed to share this story.  I am 25 years old and have lost two of my best friends.  I spent a lot of time in prayer after these two deaths, and especially after Kristin died a few weeks ago just trying to go see a sunset with her husband.  I asked God why?  I started to throw a pitty party for myself asking Him, If this normal… to have two good friends die?  Couldn’t Kristin and JD just waited one more minute to leave their hotel room… then that truck wouldn’t have hit them.  Couldn’t Courtney have waited til her husband got home to go for a ride?  There were endless questions.  But last Thursday after Kristin’s celebration of life ceremony, I felt at peace, which is why I am able to stand here and talk about it right now.  God worked a miracle of peace in my heart and in Courtney’s family back in 2008.  And God worked a miracle in my heart and in Kristin’s family just a few weeks ago.  I feel that it is my job to keep Courtney’s and Kristin’s story alive.

The best thing about both of my friends… they were dedicated, authentic, faithful followers of Christ and I know where they are right now.  Courtney served in her church every time someone came to know the Lord.  She was there counseling with them and standing there with a towel when they got baptized.  Kristin was an extremely gifted singer and had been leading worship in her churches since high school.  Their lives were not wasted, and today I feel like I’m following God’s prompting, getting way out of my comfort zone, and telling this story for a few simple reasons….

Sure, so my friends’ memories will live on, but more than that….. So we won’t take our fragile, temporary lived for granted…. So each one of us can look forward to Heaven and carry that hope around with us every day…. So we, as women, will not take for granted the friendships we have or the ones we need to make… So we can get past ourselves and get our focus on what really matters, and that is the Lord, Jesus Christ….. And mostly, so we can search ourselves and see what God is call us to do.

What is God calling you to do in your own personal relationship with Him?  In your family?  In your church?  And, if you are a part of FBCY, in this new women’s ministry?

 

For more information on Ladies Of Love Women’s Ministry, click HERE

Memorable Moment #16: Kristin

 

I will always love you and cherish our friendship.  We had some great times together, and I wish we could have talked more these last few years. Your life was a blessing to me and many others, and now your passing will leave a beautiful testimony for the world to see. This difficult time will ultimately bring Glory to God and I find perfect peace knowing you are with our Jesus, who you loved so much.

You were always there for me, and I hope I was always there for you too.  I know now what a gift it is to have great friends and will always regret not being able to keep in touch with old friends when we moved. 

Junior High

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My 16th Birthday

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Choir Trip

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Kristin’s 16th Birthday

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Senior Year – Morp

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Bridesmaid in my wedding

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Kristin Goldston Widner

April 29, 1986 – July 29, 2011

Why Do We Suffer?

On July 29, 2011, I got a call with some shocking news.  One of my best high school friends was killed in a motorcycle accident while on vacation in Hawaii.  It makes me realize how fragile and temporary life really is, but more than that it makes me thankful that I have the hope of an eternity in heaven.  I also know that Kristin had that hope in her life, and lived out her faith.
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I don't think of high school without thinking about Kristin and everything she meant to me.  We had a lot in common and were always dreaming of our futures.  When we were in 8th grade we drew out a picture of how we wanted our lives to go (below)... hers with JD and mine with Nate... It is pretty remarkable that both of our dreams came true when we married the men we started dating in 8th grade (and are still married to them).  It is also heart breaking to know that Kristin's plans for a family with JD will never come to be, and I feel a little guilty that I still have that chance.
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(Notice the details... We are pregnant, and those are churches in the background where Nate and JD are youth pastors)

Kristin had a way with people, and was friends with everyone.  She didn't overlook the outcasts and had a smile and laugh that lit up the room.  I will never forget some of her looks and one she would always give me when she sang on stage.... kind of a "I'm doing this because you pressured me, but I love it" thing.  She used her singing talents for the Lord, and will leave a lasting impression on everyone that ever got to listen.  I will also always remember her fun, shoot me in the arm, personality.  She took me to Hooters on my 19th birthday just to see my face turn red.  I woke her up on her wedding day and documented everything, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. And, I will forever count her as one of my best friends.

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I know that Kristin's life was not wasted and am very happy to have the peace that she is in heaven right now in the very presence of Jesus, who she loved so much.  I also know that she would want the love of her Heavenly Father to be preached a little, and this sermon from a few weeks ago has been on my mind, so here goes....

Why We Suffer?

*Suffering is a normal part of being a Christian... but the suffering doesn't win!

4 Reasons We Suffer As Christians

1- Sometimes we suffer for the cause of Christ.

"We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body."

-2 Cor. 4:10-11

"...though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

-1 Peter 1:6-7

When we suffer the right way: we start to look more like Christ, and God is glorified.

2-Sometimes we suffer for the benefit of others

"We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection (salvation)."

-2 Cor. 13:9

We want others to notice our perfect peace in difficult times.  People should say, "look at the way the handled ____."

The difficult times set us, as Christians, apart from other moral people.

3-Sometimes we suffer for our own inner renewal.

"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

-2 Cor. 4:16

As we get older, our body wears out more and more, but your relationship with God should be growing more and more.

"Jesus Said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me..... For when I am weak, then I am strong."

-2 Cor. 12:9-10

4- We suffer because our treasure is in heaven.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

-2 Cor 4: 17-18

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Kristin had a personal relationship with Christ.  She understood that there is life after death.  If you have questions about your eternity, get it figured out today.  You are not a Christian just because, you were born in America or because you're a good person.  Don't be sad for Kristin because she isn't up in Heaven wishing she was here on earth.... But seriously examine your own heart and make sure you will be seeing her again.