Live and Breath

Last Sunday, April 29th, would have been my friend Kristin’s 26th birthday.  I spent a lot of time this month thinking about her, and even more time on Sunday.  I had a good ugly cry, because it is just so heartbreaking when someone’s life is cut short… especially a good friend.

Kristin and I at her wedding ~ November 2004 

But then, I remembered the lessons I learned when my other great friend passed away right after we graduated from college.  It was in June 2008 and I will never forget the tearful message from her dad on my phone.  That day changed my life forever.  I struggled with extreme guilt and disbelief.  Why should I have the opportunity to be with my husband when she couldn’t anymore?  Why should I be able to enjoy a meal, take a vacation, or even breath?  Courtney will never get to do these things.  She will never get to have those babies we always talked about and enjoy her new house with her high-school sweetheart husband.

Courtney and I at our college graduation ~ May 2008

Those were some of the darkest days of my life as I searched out what God was trying to teach me.  When I heard Courtney’s family talk about how she was looking down on us wishing she could be here, it hit me…. no she’s not!  Courtney (and now Kristin) is in the very presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!  She isn’t wishing for the things of this world.  They aren’t even thinking of us like we are thinking of them… There is no time in Heaven.  My friends are in a perfect place where their souls are at rest in the very presence of Jesus.  Who am I to wish they were still here on this earth?  In all actuality, we are the ones that are here in this increasingly evil world.

I say all this just because I have spent this entire month extremely grateful and humbled for the wonderful life I get to live on this earth.  I also say all these things to remind myself that we are not home… We are just temporary travelers in a foreign land… dots on the timeline of eternity…

God thank you for life.  For blessings.  For giving us the desires of our hearts.  Lord, please help me to live with eternity in mind and set my feet firm on your path for my life.