The Waiting Game

WAIT:  verb (used without object)

1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, until something expected happens

2. to remain neglected for a time

3. to look forward to eagerly

When I hear the word WAIT, the first thing I thing I think is…. “story of my life.”  Then I quickly survey my life and realize there are certain, very important, things where I didn’t have to WAIT too long. Like meeting and falling in love with my wonderful husband in the 8th grade.  But in every instance…. the WAITing ones and the not…. I can see God’s provision in my life.  There are still some things that I don’t understand, but I know in time God will show me a huge life lesson…. case in point: the year 2010.

The above definitions for the word WAIT give me mixed emotions: 1. sad, 2. depressed, and 3. hopeful.  When WAITing on anything, for just a short time or for years, it seems, maybe, as if God has forgotten you… He’s not hearing the cries of my heart, people… Or maybe the situation gets the best of you and you just quit praying all together.  That’s where I get when the WAITing game seems like too much to bear, where I feel totally “neglected for a time” and ready to sleep/eat my worries away.  But then sweet little definition #3 comes…. and I can continue to “look forward to eagerly” the blessings that God is going to give me soon.  And, look at all the beautiful blessings that are right in front of my face.

WAITing on God is something that is commanded:

“But you much return to your God, Maintain love and justice, and WAIT for your God always”  Hosea 12:6

“WAIT for the Lord, Be strong and take heart and WAIT for the Lord” Psalm 27:14

“Be still before the Lord and WAIT patiently for Him” Psalm 37:7

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you.  Therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who WAIT for Him!”  Isaiah 30:18

We WAIT for His providence, His salvation, and His blessings….. Especially these days, where we are privileged to live in an instant and selfish United States.  But there are some benefits to WAITing on God.  It leads to expectancy… It leads to hope… It leads to trust… And it leads to patience.

“In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice.  In the morning I lay my requests before You and WAIT expectantly.”  Psalm 5:3

“We WAIT in hope for the Lord.  He is our help and our shield”  Psalm 33:20

“I will WAIT for the Lord… I will put my trust in Him”  Isaiah 8:17

“But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we WAIT for it patiently”  Romans 8:25

And, we can always know that we are not alone.  And that things can always get worse or be worse.  Everyone is WAITing on something.  What I do while I WAIT is what’s important.  I can’t let myself grow bitter and more selfish… only better and more reliant on The One who’s in charge. 

Thinking through the Bible… there are soooo many people that WAITed years for God’s promises to be fulfilled:  Abraham & Sarah, Zechariah & Elizabeth, Joseph, Daniel, David, Ruth, Esther, Moses, Jacob, Paul, and even Jesus Himself.  Everything happens in God’s timing and who am I to ask why something isn’t happening right when I want it.

As I am turning 30 in a few short weeks, I am grateful for the knowledge I have on this subject…. way more than the average lady my age, I know that.  It has made me into the woman I am today.  Though it has been a hard lesson to learn, it has helped me to be more grounded and more grateful.  Life is too short to worry about whatever I am WAITing on.  I have learned that it is so comforting and so beautiful to fully rely and trust God for the desires of my heart.  He knows my heart and I pray everyday that it would be pure and steadfast.  That’s the bottom line.  That’s the end of my WAITing game. 

(Some of this was taken from BibleGateway.com.  A great resource that’s always at your fingertips)

“Let go. And Let God.”

Have you ever prayed for something so much… over and over… every day… until you didn’t even believe that prayer was helping???

I recently got to that point.  I realized, that again, my prayers were completely selfish and I didn’t feel right about begging God for two certain things I wanted to happen in my life.  I completely let these two requests take over my entire prayer life.  It was completely ridiculous.  My heart was full of doubt and fear, as I would be on my knees begging and pleading with God to answer these petitions, and at the same time in my head I was thinking they are never going to happen.

This is my story of letting go and letting God.

Last Monday, during my quiet time I was having a fight with myself about praying for things too much.  It turned into a complete melt down within myself and I decided…. “I can’t do it.  I can’t pray about these things anymore.”  I read this passage out of James chapter 4 that further proved my point:

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

"You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way…"

It was true… The Bible is always true, but this passage hit me between the eyes.  I was asking with doubt in my heart because I had prayed about the same two things for over a year.  I am a spoiled child of God and it was sobering to realize I simply just needed to LET GO! AND LET GOD!

I know this.  I have known this.  I just got to consumed with begging God for things I thought I had to have.  So I enacted a plan right away to not pray for myself about these things and call on three of my good friends to do it for me.  I got a true feeling of genuine community as I completely trusted that God would come through because I knew my friends would be praying.

Side Note:  If you don’t have close friends like this…. find some.  God doesn’t expect you to go through things alone and genuine friends that truly care are there “for such a time as this” to help lighten your load.

Anyway, that was on a Monday.  By Tuesday afternoon I felt an amazing since of peace and freedom.  By Thursday God had answered one of the prayer requests!  This had been like a ball-and-chain around my ankle for the last two and a half years, and God had finally answered!  It has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the powerful prayers of wonderful friends and God’s providential wisdom, timing, and healing!

I have clung and will continue to cling to Psalm 55:22 until the second prayer is answered.

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you.  He will never let the righteous fall.”

In the mean time, let me encourage you with this… Let go. And let God.  He can handle it.  If you find yourself praying passionately for something for a long period of time, and it becomes too much… Let go.  And let God come through for you.

Selfish Prayers?

Yesterday I was reading the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan (If you haven't read Crazy Love read it) and an interesting verse stood out to me.

"You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." -James 4:2-3 NIV

"You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way. You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

-James 4:3-3 The Message

Everyone knows that we have been praying for our house to sell for over six months now, and we have a lot of people praying for it too. Have all my prayers been selfish? How do I pray for my house to sell unfelfishly?

This morning I prayed, God let our lives glorify You whether we are in our own house with our own stuff or not.

Then I found myself telling God that we would use a new house to glorify Him.... One of my favorite things to do is have people over to play games or watch movies. We would get to know the youth and our new friends so much better and be able to really minister here in Yukon. haha.... I guess my prayers for our house to sell really have been selfish.

From now on I will only pray for God's will to be done and not mine concerning our house. I will do my best to not focus on where I am living, but why we are here and the youth I want to get to know so much more.

Are your prayers selfish sometimes, or am I the only one?

The Current Moment: Moving from Everything to Nothing

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,according to the power that works within us to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Nate and I got married in August 2005 and moved to Rogers, AR. What an experience... Move out of your parents house to go four hours away with the man that I love. It was a hard adjustment, but Nate and I learned a lot about love and each other because we had nobody else to lean on. Those were some great days that I will never forget. I will always say that living away from family for a little while can be a good thing. We built a great life in Rogers, and God gave us some great friends that we will always be close to. Rogers will always be the first place we lived after we got married, where we had our first house, where Nate had his first job after college, where Nate started and finished his master's degree, where I graduated college, where we learned how to have friends, where we fell more in love with youth ministry, where we learned how to take care of ourselves, where I taught myself to cook... a little bit, and where a little piece of our hearts will always be. A lot of memories and emotions are in our hearts and minds when we think of Rogers. God taught us so much and we are thankful for every day we spent there and at FBC Rogers.

On November 2, 2010, we moved to Yukon, OK. It was the hardest thing that Nate and I have ever had to go through... Leaving the life that we had built there.... Leaving the youth, youth workers, and our friends (and their babies). But, it was also the best thing to do.... all because we were following God's will. We love Yukon! We love FBC Yukon! We love the relationships that we are making. Things at the church are going great. We are seeing some growth start to take place in the students and can't wait to see what God is going to do this summer. I am filling in for one of the secretaries at church and it has been great to be in the church everyday! It is like my dream job... ha. Everything with work is going great, but our personal lives are on hold. All of our earthly possesions have been in storage for six months. We are starting to wonder when our house is going to sell. That house means so much to us and we did so much to make it look better that we don't understand why it hasn't sold. Plus our realtor has been telling us for six months that it is just so cute that someone will fall in love with it and it will sell quickly. Whatever. That isn't even what really bothers us though.... It is just that we want to move on with our lives here. We want to be able to have the students and new friends over to "our house" and I want to be able to cook.... and not pay all the extra bills. It is 83 degrees outside today and neither one of us have any summer clothes out and it is impossible to get to them. ha Right in the middle of all these selfish thoughts... we call them our bad days... I saw this video

I feel like a self-centered jerk. Nate and I are fine. We have each other and a place to stay... Just because it isn't what we are used to, doesn't make it bad. We are learning again how to trust God with everything and He has provided. We want what God wants.... We are just trying not to get in the way.

God is God and God is Good!