In My Daughter’s Eyes

Everyone knows, a baby changes everything.  I thought I was fully prepared for these changes.  I had wanted to be a mother my entire life.  And for the most part, I have loved every change that has come our way.  What I wasn’t prepared for was how being a mother changed me.  Mollie is now two years old and still everyday I am learning new things about myself.

 

The funny side of this is that I am suddenly able to take care of things and share my opinions with  others.  I used to be so chill and mellow…. going with the flow and never speaking my mind about much.  Since having Mollie I suddenly feel equipped to tell everyone what I think.  I have opinions about things and I will gladly tell you… sometimes unsolicited.  My friends think it’s hilarious.  I think I feel empowered since birthing Mollie.  In a way she brought me into womanhood.

I look at Mollie and I want to be strong and independent for her…. characteristics that I would never stick on myself.  I want to be the best version of myself…. for her.  When she is cranky beyond repair, and Nate and I are tired of the tears, I want to be patient and tenderhearted to take care of her the best way I can. 

When we put her to bed at night, I want to sing to her and tell her she is beautiful, she is wanted, she is loved, and God has a plan for her life.  I want to speak only good things into her tiny, cutest thing ever, head.  I want her to hold onto Jesus and know that He will keep her safe, that He will always be with her.  And, in wanting those things for her it reminds me to live like I am beautiful, wanted, loved… and it makes me remember that God has a plan for my life, that I need to hold onto Jesus.

I want to be the woman that my daughter wants to be like.  And, as a person that has struggled with self-esteem ever since I can remember, this changes me.  The very thought of what I look like to Mollie…. it changes me.  It changes me for the better.

I love these words to this Martina McBride song "In My Daughter's Eyes":

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

 

I love you so much, Mollie Grace!