“The Day a Weight was Lifted”

I strongly believe that one of the reasons God allows “storms” in our life is so we can help others that go through the same thing.  So we can learn about ourselves, and have a lasting testimony of our Lord and Saviors providential timing and see how He sustains us.

Last night in Nate’s talk to the youth he said that God wants to show His greatness to others through your storm.  The point of pain in our lives isn’t to suck it up or walk it off… It’s to show the beauty and grace of our Savior.

I have found that I am a becoming a writer.  I have kept journals since I can remember, but lately it has gone to a whole different level… I have to write to get things off my chest.  I have to write to vent my feelings.  I just have to write.

This is what I wrote in my journal yesterday…

Ah!  Sweet relief!  After being in Yukon and having our house in Rogers for sale for 2 1/2 years… It finally sold today!  Closing was at 2pm and we got a call around 3:30 with the good news.  That was 1,080 days of waiting on the Lord.  This was the 4th or 5th offer we got and I was so scared that they were going to back out too.  Praise the Lord they didn’t. 

Getting our papers signed and sending them off!

I feel like a different person without this over my head.  Many times I have felt sorry for myself… calling this “storm” in my life a nightmare.  Things couldn’t have gone worse.  At least that’s how I felt.  Nate and I were on our knees about this situation everyday.  Our minds, hearts, and money has been in two different towns.  We would go through “what if?” situations, like:  What if our first realtor would have priced it right back in October 2009?  What if our second realtor would have done a better job with the rent-to-own option?  What if we wouldn’t have let a bum live there for 10 months?

Now, being finished with the whole ordeal, I am saying “what if?” in a different way… What if we didn’t have the love and provision of our Almighty God to put all our hope and faith in?  What if our families didn’t support us and continually offer help and support?  What if I didn’t have such wonderful friends that prayed everyday for me when I couldn’t?  What if our church family didn’t love and support us?  What if God hadn’t provided the money we needed to live or places to live (like my brother’s barn or our church’s mission house)?  Seriously, what if?

I am blessed beyond what I can even believe.  There is no reason that I deserve so much.  There is no explanation as to why Nate and I are not in debt up to our eyeballs, in foreclosure, or homeless and hungry… Besides the wonderful provision of our awesome Lord and Savior, and the faithful prayers of His children.  I am so thankful for so much right now in this moment.

Celebratory Italian nachos!

I always say that we learn a lot from these “unforeseen storms” of life, and Nate and I aren’t to sure if we learned anything of great importance BUT I do know of some things.  We learned patience… with God, others, each other and money.  We learned that God will provide!  And that we are horrible landlords and should never own another rental property.  We learned how to look for a good realtor.  And what depression feels like.  We learned what it was like to face a huge crisis, and how to support each other in the midst of it.  We learned about short sales.  I learned I was a really good letter writer (there was no way they were saying no).  I learned the feeling of genuine community and dependence on the two best friends that I’ve ever had in my life.  I learned that Nate and I have a deep, un-shattering love for each other… even deeper than I thought.

Celebratory dinner with friends!

I’m sure more gratefulness and more things I learned will come to me in the following days, but today I will just relish the love of my Heavenly Father, my wonderful husband, my best friends, my family, and my church.  This leap year 2012 will forever be a memory in my life.  “The day a weight was lifted” I like to say.  A day that will live in infamy… just joking ;)

It is good to feel more like myself and hear Nate genuinely laugh.  It’s been a while and we are ready to make this whole “owning one house instead of two” thing the new normal.  Oh, what a life we get to lead.

So, if you are in the midst of a storm, and need some encouragment… know that this storm is not the end of your story.  Know that it will end some day.  Don’t allow it to take you over.  Allow it to shape you into a more faithful follower of Christ.

Goodbye darling house.  We will always love and cherish our time with you!

August 2005 – November 2009

3600 West Beechwood Drive. Rogers, AR 72756

The Power of Being Positive

Why hello my favorite month.  I absolutely love November.  The weather is cooling off but not freezing… There is a great family holiday in the middle… It’s Nate’s birthday… It’s my birthday… It’s one month before Christmas!

Last week we went to clean up our AR house, so it was a week full of cleaning and painting.  We got home, went to sleep, and immediately got up and went to Falls Creek with some church people to do the same thing there.  We were soar and exhausted by the time Sunday rolled around….. but, I will say that we got a ton of things done.

I was a little upset when I caught my breath on Monday night because I wasted a whole week of my favorite month cleaning. Ugh.  But now, I am in my full November happy place…. as I sit here at work wearing my uggs and a fleece…. and have resolved to think positive. 

When we met with our new realtor to re-list the house (for the third time), we got some bad news.  We knew it was going to be bad, but weren’t prepared to hear that we are going to have to bring around $12,000 to the table when our house finally does sell.  I went through a crazed panic phase, a pitty party, a “why are you letting this happen, God?” phase, and an all out ugly cry when we drove away from the house a week ago today…. but since then Nate and I have really stepped back and remained positive.  I keep telling myself that November is going to be a great month.  Keeping positive about everything is key…. I learned this from the mission house.

We have resolved not to stress about this situation and just go through it.  We still have each other and as my dad says, “It’s just money.”  Our positive attitudes have been great this week (we’ll see about the next few) and it has really made a difference.  Control your mind… control your emotions… control your situation.  Beth Moore reminded me this week to make decisions out of information, not emotions. I need to etch that in my brain somewhere deep ;)

I have personally been teaching myself to wait on God for a while now and am adding this house situation to the list.  Even after all of the mess with this house the past two years, I still love it.  It will always be our first home together and we can’t wait for someone else to be just as blessed by it. 

This is a picture of us being positive :)

We are confident that God is in control and that He will come through for us…. and that November is going to be a great month!

Livin' on Love

Welp... If it's not one thing, it's another, right?  The family that was supposed to buy our house in Rogers.... they have been renting to own for the last 12 months.... lied to us.  They have been continually lying to us for all of these months and refuse to answer our calls/texts. 

We made the decision to kick them out last week and haven't looked back.  They should be out on the 31st and we will be there (with the police) to make sure that happens.  Then the cleaning up non stop for a couple days will comense and we will get our cute little house back to "selling shape." 

Surprisingly, Nate and I are at complete peace with this decision.  Even though paying two mortgages is as close to impossible as we can get, we are optimistic about the upcoming months.  We will totally be living on love... and Ramen noodles :)

This house brought us soooo much joy and will always be a happy memory for us, so it makes me really sad to think about it being such a head ache now.  But, God will provide and we will make it just fine.  We have some plans about how we are gonna make it.... I will work at a daycare after my job at church, we are canceling our cable and internet next week (after Project Runway is over), maybe set some tombstones for my dad on the weekends, sell some crafts, and if it comes down to it.... refinance or sell our vehicles.

It should be an adventure for the next few months.  Hopefully the house will sell super fast and we will have another story about how God provided just when we needed Him.  Like I explained in my last post, I can be brave... even in this situation... which has been a fear of mine for a year now. 

Fill in the blank with your fears....

IF ________________, then God!

No matter what happens.... No matter how you fill in the blank, God will get you through.



Our House...

What's been going on with us for the last 12 days?

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We have been working hard to get our house in order. As of right now, I am happy to report we have new furniture, new paint, decorations in place, and every box unpacked.

Yesterday we got curtains so our bedroom, our bathroom, office, kitchen, living room, and entry way are finished. All we have left now are the two guest bedrooms and the guest bathroom. Then some day when we have the urge to paint we need to do our bathroom and the hall.

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We are pretty proud of ourselves for having this much done so fast, and people keep acting like we should be completely settled. I don't know how long it usually takes people to be done, but surely it's longer than 12 days. I mean if we didn't go to work and have busy weekends I bet we could have everything done.

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It is pretty great to have our own house back. We lay down every night and say, "I love this house." It is so open and so us.

We can't say "home" without giggling... actually, Nate can't say it yet. He comes in the office and says he's going to "the house." I can't wait to be completely comfortable in our home again and start having lots of people over.

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I haven't taken pictures of the finished product yet but here are a few from closing day. We closed at 3:00pm on September 30th.... Waited for the sellers to get out, and when they never did we went ahead and moved our cleaning and painting supplies in at 6:30pm. (They were there till 9:30pm. I guess they didn't get the memo about what closing on a house means.)

Then we cleaned and painted till 2:30am and got up at 7:30am to move everything we own out of the mission house. We were having to tell our legs that it was ok and to keep going.... one step at a time... till 8:00pm or so. What a weekend! We are very thankful for my mom, who came and helped clean and paint all night, and Nate's dad, that helped us move.

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Goodbye Texaco Green entry way.

Goodbye yellow.

Claire Bear is really loving our house too. She approves of the carpet and the new furniture. (She wouldn't lay on the floor or the couch in the mission house) It is funny how even our dog is more comfortable now.

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Another huge thank you to everyone who has prayed for our house situation this last year. We are incredibly blessed and thankful for your support. God delivered big time and gave us a wonderful house in His perfect time and we are thrilled.

Good things come to those who wait.... Right?

Well, now we don't know when we are going to close on our house. Something always gets messed up with us. Really... I feel like nothing can just happen the way it's supposed to.

But, the good news is it will definitely be before October 8th. We were trying to close early so the sellers wouldn't have to pay another month's mortgage, but our finance guy didn't get the memo.... or at least he forgot about that little detail. It is only 8 more days, but after waiting 11 months I can hardly sleep at night because I am so excited to unpack.

I am constantly thinking about how we are going to decorate. Like all the time. It is driving Nate crazy, but I am just excited.

Here is what "we" are thinking:

This is my inspiration. We got it at Garden Ridge and I am in love with it. I know exactly where I'm going to put it. I'm going for eclectic country.... or something like that.

And, I have a new theory.... less is more. I don't feel like I have to hang something on every wall like I did in our first house.

This is our new pantry. It is going to house all our food. It is currently sitting with all our other stuff in two boxes (one weighs 90 lbs and the other 70lbs...we figure it will be easier to move this way) just waiting to be put together. Can't wait to see it in person. These are our new outside lights. Nate already has some projects lined up :) New inside lights.

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Now, this is the stuff I am looking for.... and will buy when we replenish our bank accounts.

I want 4 antique ceiling tiles to put together in a square. I can't find these things anywhere. Where else do I look?

I bet they will have some at Affair of the Heart (a huge craft show here in OKC)! Can't wait for that.

Furniture! It doesn't necessarily need to be leather, but we definitely want a dark brown couch, love seat, and recliner. We have been married long enough to finally buy our own furniture, right?

A sofa table. Who knows what color or shape.... we just need one. Our new house is so open we don't want people just staring at the back of our couch. I plan on putting our digital picture frame on it. (my Christmas present from last year that's still in the box) I like little decorative chairs with weird fabric. I like this print, but would also be open to some polka dots or stripes :)

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That is all for now. I'm sure I will think of something else in about 3 minutes. ha.

Anybody out there have any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions? I don't hate comments :)

Home Sweet Home

The LORD your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.

~Zephaniah 3:17

Introducing our new house!

We close on September 30th and couldn't be more excited. I am already decorating it in my head and planning what I'm gonna cook.... if I can remember how.

The best thing about this house isn't the brick, the extra 500 square feet, the extra room that will be used as an office, the back yard, location, or open living area...... It is that God has been completely in control of everything that had to happen in order for us to get this house.

If you have been reading my blog, you are probably sick of hearing about our house in Arkansas selling. Even as I read some of my earlier posts I was a little embarrassed about how it has been mentioned every time. I guess that just shows how it has been consuming my mind and life for the last ten months.

BUT, no more my friends! Here is the story of how God moved:

Nate and I decided that we had been saving all this money for our whole five years of marriage and we are gonna spend some and take a trip. So, we went to the Bahamas, of course, and promised each other that we would try not to think about the house while on our relaxing vacation.

As the week went on it was hard, but we didn't think about it too much. I just knew in my bones that we were gonna have a message from our realtor when we got back to the good ol USA. Especially because there was a lady that had been talking with our realtor everyday and he said he hoped to have something in writing when we got back.

So, in the Dallas airport Nate checked his two messages. One was from a man named Brian that saw our house on Craig's List and wanted to see it. The other was from our realtor here in OK that was about to list our new house for way under market value and thought we would like it.

After calling everyone back, I convinced Nate to call our realtor in AR , cause I knew that he would have good news for us about this lady. Forget the Craig's List call. But again, there was no news to report. I was.... uh distraught. That's a nice word for it.

I felt like our realtors in AR have just been messing around with us and I just knew something was going to be done after our trip, but no.

To say that my heart was a rock is no understatement. I have been totally cold about the house thing since about month 7. I had tried to take God out of the picture and was starting to place blame on our AR realtors and Nate. I have never been as down in my life as I was the Friday we got the call about the Craig's List Brian wanting to lease our house.

I am not usually one to voice my opinions, and mostly rely on Nate to make our decisions.... So even though I was reluctant about the lease to own option, Nate strongly felt that this was our answer. Then, with the promise of a contract coming, we called our realtor here and went to see some houses.

He showed us our new house first, and all of the others were junk compared to it. We slept on it and when he took us to see it again I didn't want to leave. Nate and I felt great about putting in an offer. While we were sitting in the house Nate got the email with the contract for our AR house.

Since then, everything has been smooth sale-ing... ha. The buyers for our house in AR have given us an actual contract to buy the house with a early occupancy addendum, and the first months rent already. They are serious about getting some credit so they can be financed in less than 6 months and putting extra money in escrow every month. Our new house here passed inspection with flying colors, and is move in ready.

Now we are just waiting on our financing and everything should be signed for and done two weeks from today.

I didn't even realize all the tiny details that God worked out until I started to write in my diary. Think about it. Nate had two messages when we got back from our trip... One ended up being from the family that is buying our house, and the other ended up being about our new house. The family here could have gone with any number of realtors to sell their home, and they choose our realtor out of OKC. We got the contract for our AR house while we were writing a contract for our new OK house. His timing was just amazing. And, our realtor here, Christopher, thought of us when he saw our new house.... he hadn't seen us in 10 months.

Who says God doesn't answer prayers? Sometimes He just let's you wait. And in this case he had us wait so we could bless one family with a house of their own, and another family who needed to sell their house quickly. And so that we could have this wonderful house that we will be able to call "home"

Those words have never held so much meaning, or sounded so sweet.... "Home Sweet Home"

We are beyond grateful for all the prayers and support from our family, friends, and church family. It has been a rough 11 months and we don't know where we would be without you.

Homeless???

home  /hoʊm/ Show Spelled [hohm] – noun the place in which one's domestic affections are centered. OR the place or region where something is native or most common. OR a principal base of operations or activities

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We went from having our own home... surrounded with loving reminders of family and friends... decorated just the way I like... a great shower... a bigger washer and dryer... a dishwasher you can load... and on and on.... We were happy....

To now, where we are living in filth, surrounded by boxes. Don't get me wrong... We are very thankful to have somewhere to live right now. BUT it is definitely not our home.

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We have no affections for the mission house

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It is not common or comfortable for us

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We do not operate there.

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We are officially homeless!

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Nate and I both take a lot of pride in keeping a house nice and clean. I always loved to have friends and youth over. It was like they were getting to know us when they walked into our home.

For the last 10 months the worst part is... I miss that.

I think I am going to go crazy soon.

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Compare my last memorable moment of our house to the mission house below. Yikes.

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Memorable Moment #13: Our First House

3600 West Beechwood Drive, Rogers, Arkansas 72756

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I will never forget this house and all the great memories that Nate and I have there. It was the perfect house for us and I cherish our first four years of marriage spent there. We took great pride in fixing up and maintaining a beautiful home. Every extra cent we had went into making it look better, and we both enjoyed having friends and youth over whenever we could. Our prayer is that this house would continue to bless whoever lives in it for years to come.

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Home Improvement Projects included:

~August 2005 - New inside paint

~January 2007 - New ceiling fans

~Summer 2007 - New outside paint

~December 2007 - Kitchen Re-Model

~December 2007 - New trim

~Spring 2008 - New water line

~May 2008 - New carpet

~Fenced in back yard

~Took spindles off of front porch

~Replaced the eaves

~Landscaping

~Bathroom cabinets

~Replaced all the light fixtures

~Long shelf for decoration in the Kitchen

Spiritually BITTER or Spiritually BETTER???

An entry from my journal on July 12, 2010:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." ~James 1:2-6

Our house has been for sale for almost ten months now. I have been physically, mentally, and spiritually down for these months too. I have let my circumstances take control. This last week was a bad one, and I know that Nate and I are a little depressed. Yesterday at church I heard yet another sermon on "enduring trials." I'm tired of hearing things like this, but this message stood out.

Everyone is going to go through trials... How do I respond? Am I going to come though spiritually bitter or better? Until today I have been growing more bitter by the week. Today I choose to make myself spiritually better.

Verse 5 says to ask for wisdom, but ask without a doubt. Nate came to me this morning saying that for the first time in these ten months, he is really not doubting - I am totally opposite in that I have never doubted so much.

Lord, please search me and know my heart. Take all my doubt away because I know that you are there and that you have a plan. Please grant me Your wisdom to become spiritually better and know how to make it through this trial...

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Today I feel refreshed in the fact that Nate and I are here

"for such a time as this" to see God move in the lives of our students.

Nate with Sara and Daniel, Sunday 8/8/10, before they were baptized.

Me and Sara

Pictureless Post for the End of Summer

Well we just got back from our last big thing of the summer, which was YEC. It was a great stress free few hours with Nate, Hollie, and Sara.

We are looking forward to what this fall has to offer and seeing our students become a witness at school. We are starting a few new things to keep them motivated, like a prayer meeting the first Thursday of every month in the City Bites parking lot.

We are also looking forward to what the fall will bring in our lives. We want to start living here and really get invested. We know that will really start to happen when we sell our house.... Maybe today will be the day.

On a side note, I am looking forward to some cooler weather, our 5 year anniversary trip to the Bahamas, finishing INSANITY, and getting over this bad bladder/kidney infection that I have right now.

A Heart That Endures

I once heard a man say that if he could ask for one thing from God it would be...... A HEART THAT ENDURES. wow

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

-Phil. 4:2-8

He used these verses to explain to us what exactly this kind of heart looks like.... *Be happy in knowing the Lord. We don't deserve his love.

*Gentleness = Being happy with less than you deserve.

*Don't worry. "Worry is the interest on a debt that has already been paid."

*Worry is the complete opposite of prayer.

*Be thankful..... There is a lot to be thankful for

*God's greatest gift = peace

*Think positive thoughts

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This is an awesome goal. The pastor that spoke these words was well into his fifties, and had just resigned from his church because they were unable to pay him. He was going through some hard times and stood infront of our whole church and gave us a message of peace, hope, and love. I greatly admire his words, and pray that I can have a heart that endures.

Nate and I have both learned a lot about ourselves in the last seven months. Everyday that our house doesn't sell makes my attitude worse. I have learned that I am a lazy, selfish person.... great huh? I feel like I am trapped in someone elses body... literally. The things that I used to love to do.... I just don't. I am letting my surroundings determine my mood.

But don't worry.... I know myself and somehow I will slowly get back to that girl.

We have found great friends here and I am able to get everything off my chest whenever I want. Nate and I are about to go insane and do some insanity workouts, which will help me a lot! We are about to start summer activities, which I always look forward to.... Can't wait to get to know our students better. And, I just booked our anniversary trip to the Bahamas! Things are looking up!

From today on I will choose to rejoice in the Lord! I will be happy with what we have. God has totally provided for us during our transition from Rogers to Yukon. There were times when I had it written on paper how we weren't going to have money left for food after we paid our bills in Rogers and in Yukon.... And somehow we still had money in the bank. Do you believe God still does miracles??? I certainly do!

I will choose to pray when I want to worry. And I will choose to be thankful instead of grumpy. I will think happy thoughts and not let myself get down. I will pray for one of God's greatest gifts... peace.

This should be a wonderful start to a week of self reflection, restoration, and renewal. I will be by myself so this could get interesting. Nate is going to church camp without me for the first time. The depressed Whitney would cry all day everyday and lay on the couch when she gets off work, but today.... the new me will choose not to be like that. Mind over matter. Here goes nothing....

God give me a heart that endures

Selfish Prayers?

Yesterday I was reading the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan (If you haven't read Crazy Love read it) and an interesting verse stood out to me.

"You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." -James 4:2-3 NIV

"You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to. You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way. You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble."

-James 4:3-3 The Message

Everyone knows that we have been praying for our house to sell for over six months now, and we have a lot of people praying for it too. Have all my prayers been selfish? How do I pray for my house to sell unfelfishly?

This morning I prayed, God let our lives glorify You whether we are in our own house with our own stuff or not.

Then I found myself telling God that we would use a new house to glorify Him.... One of my favorite things to do is have people over to play games or watch movies. We would get to know the youth and our new friends so much better and be able to really minister here in Yukon. haha.... I guess my prayers for our house to sell really have been selfish.

From now on I will only pray for God's will to be done and not mine concerning our house. I will do my best to not focus on where I am living, but why we are here and the youth I want to get to know so much more.

Are your prayers selfish sometimes, or am I the only one?